Monday morning as I talk to her on phone while driving back home, ‘How long before you get home?’ ‘I am on my way, I wish I could just fly to you because I miss your beautiful face’. That would have made her blush, ‘Can you try not being cheesy at least when you are driving?’ ‘hahaBAAAAMM’. ‘hey what happened?’. My head hits my car’s window as my car goes crashing into a truck.
The medic man opens my phone to see a picture of my wife on my lock screen, he goes to my recent calls, and as he is doing that, she calls on my phone, ‘Maam I am from the City hospital, your husband was involved in a car accident and is in a critical condition.’
She arrives at the hospital crying and shouting, demanding to know where I was.
She comes to my room where I lay with my eyes closed, completely aware of my surroundings but in severe pain. ‘Goodness what have you done to yourself?, she asks as she continues crying. I open my eyes to see her gorgeous face wearing worry and tears all over. She was quite aspectabund, and this time all I could see was worry. I left that question unanswered as I reached for her hand. I broke my arm in the accident but the touch of her hand made it disappear, it was as if I dipped my hand into warm water that just completely made the pain disappear. I could feel my heart beating so fast, ready to jump out of its cage just to the touch of her. After a few seconds of just looking at each other, I started, ‘Princess, I am okay. I will be up and walking before you even know.’ She closes her eyes because she can clearly see that I wont be able to get up again and be normal. ‘Its okay love, he does miracles, one miracle that I am still here putting up with your craziness’. She finally smiles and looks down at me with pure affection in her eyes. ‘I really hope he does this miracle’. I was in pain, I could feel like my world is crumbling down into nothing, but I chose to be positive in front of her.
3 hours later
‘Isn’t it funny how I am wearing red today, its like I knew I was going to bleed today and decided to hide it by wearing the colour of the blood’, it was a very lame act towards making her laugh, but she did, maybe cuz out of all the people in this world, she laughs at my lameness. I ask her not to talk to me about the entire thing and instead talk about other random things because I wanted to take my mind off it. She leans in and places her head on my chest. She sits there with her eyes the furthest away from being dry and asks me ‘hey remember that hoodie I borrowed from you a few weeks ago?’ ’yeah, what about it?.’ A tear escapes her eyes as she answers ‘Just letting you know the only reason you’ll ever get that back is because its has lost its scent’. We both smile at each other as she continues, ‘I will expect it back as soon as you have made it smell like you’. I smile a little wider this time because I have got the perfect cheesy response to it, ‘that’s fine, mostly because once it comes back, it smells like you’. She laughs a little and holds my hand tighter. The kind of laugh where you have tears escaping your eyes but you still cant ‘not laugh’ because it takes you back into beautiful little memories and galaxies. My vision is slowly blurring out as I she continues talking to me. I use my right unharmed hand to play with her hair because it’s definitely my hobby. She looks up at my face and smiles because she thinks its funny how I am hurt and going through shit, yet I still can’t keep myself from playing with her hair. ‘What dude? I love your hair. It looks beautiful today’. ‘Person, you say that literally everyday’. I smile and say ‘that is because you look beautiful everyday’. She blushes. I like to see her blushing; it’s the second most beautiful sight ever. (First is when she looks so adorable while sleeping). So I continue, ‘princess I just want you to know that out of all the faces in this world, even of those actresses and whatever, you have my favourite face, the face I could spend my entire life staring at’. I regretted saying that as soon as it left my mouth. Entire life? I know it’s ending and the realization hit her too. Several more tears escape her eyes as she holds on tighter. I would do all, whatever, and anything as long as doing them meant doing them with you. But not dying, I definitely did not want you to die with me. But at the same time I was worried. Who’d look after her once I have closed my eyes forever? Who’ll look at her all day and admire her and compliment her what all that she deserves. I wanted her to live. I wanted her to lay with me for hours so we can talk thousand of nothings while it means millions of somethings. Sometimes you just cannot sigh quite deep enough. She studies my face and knows what I am thinking about. But where was her magic? Where she could see the sunset, even on the darkest of days. She leans in, and for the first time her lips are so close to mine. She leans in further and kisses me and it hits me, sometimes home can be another person. She moved back and I wanted it to have lasted longer, and maybe she realized too that she should have kissed me earlier. But it was too late. I looked into her eyes, ‘princess, I don’t want to keep this from you, I have loved you from the very first day and I won’t lie on my death bed, I have loved you with all my heart. Forgive me for I have been rude to you sometimes, but you know I never purposely wanted to hurt you. I want you to live your life finally now that you get to be away from me, you deserve the world and I tried to give it to you’. I hold her hand tighter, ‘pinkypromise me that you will not let this bring you down and instead stay strong and always remember that you are a princess and you deserve all the happiness in this world.’ ‘You have been my love story and I tend to write you into everything I do and everything I dream, you are the words that fill my pages.’ She has always been my blue crayon, the one I never have enough of, the one I use to color my sky. She tries to speak but cant. I have been an eccedentesiast all my life and luckily I get to continue with that. I caress her cheek and its time over, my vision blurs out completely and my eyes close slowly. She finally speaks, ‘I know, I love you too and always will’. She leans in for another kiss but this time my body is numb, I can’t feel anything. My time is over, I leave but the memories stay with her forever. All I wish is that I get to be up there and get to look down at her and say ‘that’s my girl’. For the first time I go to bed without getting to tell you ‘lets meet in our dreams too tonight’. But at least she knows and at least she kissed me. Souls tend to go back to who feels like home, mine will too. What about our forever she may ask, the duration of a love story does not determine the amount of love shared nor lost, even the briefest touch of the heart can feel like forever in a lifetime.
Just a small part from something big I’ve been trying to write.